Through the years I have come to realize that we grow out of some friendships and others were not friends, to begin with. I’ve always tried to stay connected with people and not make unnecessary waves, but there are times when it’s necessary to keep yourself in a mentally healthy place.
I’ve had to distance myself from both friends and family. I’ve also had co-workers that I considered friends who have stabbed me in the back for their personal gains and it hurts. I’m a lot more careful on who I let it and what information I share with “friends.” I hate to be that way, but it seems to be working out ok for me.
How do you tell if you have a toxic friend:
*If they feel more like an enemy than a friend.
*You don’t feel comfortable around that person
*You can’t trust that person around your family or friends or you would never leave a house key with them.
*If they always act like the victim and never take responsibility for their actions.
*You get an anxious feeling when you see a call or text from them.
*After spending time with the person you feel down about yourself.
*You feel drained after speaking with them.
*If they are always negative or have no respect for others.
Once you’ve identified that you have a toxic friendship what should you do?
*Set boundaries and learn to say “no.”
*Talk about what is bothering you because the friend may not know there is a problem but prepare yourself that things may not change and move back to step one.
*Start spending your free time with different friends
*Start to see or talk to the friend less, so you are putting distance between yourself and the toxic friend.
*If your friend is not taking the hint from all the above you should just disappear from their sight. Remove connection from all social media with that person and delete them from Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or anything else you are on. Block calls and texts.
*It’s ok to tell the person that the friendship is not a healthy one. So, it’s best for you to back away.
I understand it’s not easy to give up a friendship (even ones that are unhealthy) but trust me when I tell you that you will feel better once you let it go. I’m sending you good luck, lots of hugs and healthy vibes. Do what will make you a better and stronger person.